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Joke of the Day

"I slept with every girl on my soccer team... I think I'm a team player ...sorry I'll leave now :/"

"""Try it, it's so good!"" ""Come on, man. Just a taste."" ""I'm having some. Mmmm."" ""Trust me."" Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer."

"You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!"

"If a tomato gets put in a coma for being gay is it a fruit or a vegetable? ...its a hate crime"

"I'm not really that surprised that there was a controversy over that Tracer pose in Overwatch. After all, she *is* an offensive hero."

"So I have a pretty good fathers day joke Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home"

"I will die one day at a Del Taco, shot dead by a SWAT team after taking several hostages over what I feel is the meaning of extra cheese."

"Two priest walk into bar and disappointed... there are no young boys there."