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Joke of the Day

"You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras."

"Dating is like a See-saw Not very fun when one of you is fat."

"Why is Hillary Clinton unfit to be president? Because she doesn't go to the gym"

"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."

"The guy who stole my personal journal has died... My thoughts are with his family."

"""Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..."" *turns into penguin* ""DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"""

"""It doesn't say anywhere that you have to EAT them, you see,"" I explain to the Olive Garden waitress as my breadstick kingdom adds a library"

"Why do Mexicans always install those tiny steering wheels in their cars? So they can drive with the handcuffs on."

"What's your least favorite race? I personally can't stand 5K's"

"Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets? They take the senor discount."