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Joke of the Day

"""What attracted you to our company?"" Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work"

"I'm going to stand outside So if anyone asks, I'm out standing"

"Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama."

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single."

"Angel: God.. Were you drunk creating last night? God: no..... Angel: *holds up platypus God: a little.."

"Language is cool because it's just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos."

"Kids are so inquisitive. ""Will robots ever take over the world?"" Me: ""Almost certainly."" ""But when? Before I die?"" ""A bit before, yes."""

"The job interviewer asked about my previous experience. ""Well,"" I began, ""I got the bus. Got lost for a while, walked down some narrow roads and I ended up here."""

"The real reason Jesus died The criminal before him suffered from a deadly skin condition. Jesus died from cross-contamination"

"why the animale go to the store? ""chill"" with friends"