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Joke of the Day
"""What attracted you to our company?"" Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work"
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"i asked my girlfriend what she would do if i won the lottery She said: i would take half of it and run away Then i replied: ok i won 10 dollars here's 5 now get the fuck out"
"In bed, women commonly mistake me for Usain Bolt because I always come first."
"If winning was easy, losers would do it."
"Anyone who says living well is the best revenge has clearly never relocated a bat colony while their enemy was at work."
"I was told not to say the word ""Hell"" and should say something else instead... So I said, ""How about H E double dildos."""
"Scientist have found a rare mutation in some goats... It's called the Billy gene and causes them to believe that the kid is not their son."
"I just want to have a long enough career in show business so I can become eccentric and bring a goat to a meeting or some shit"
"No matter how much you love someone, your whole world can change within 5 seconds of watching them run."
"Do they have a pregnancy test for immaculate conceptions?"