202623

Joke of the Day

"I was told not to say the word ""Hell"" and should say something else instead... So I said, ""How about H E double dildos."""

"If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys."

"Have you found them? ""Not yet, sir."" THEY'RE MUTANT TURTLES THAT DO KARATE. HOW HARD COULD IT BE? ""They wear tiny masks, sir."""

"A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish. It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish."

"What do you call a Nun on a motorcycle? A bad habit"

"I can never remember if it's ""laying"" or ""lying."" Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he's doing one of them in the middle of the road. :("

"Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem."

"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""

"As I was finishing a round of golf during a lightning storm, I was suddenly struck ...by how peaceful my game was with no one else on the course. I should do this more often!"

"I like my wine like I like my women Stored in a dark basement till they're 5 years old"