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Joke of the Day

"Leia: You owe child support. Han: What? I'm in hyperspace. Leia: You're standing right here Han: *makes hyperdrive noises with his mouth*"

"I started eating healthier recently. Instead of chicken wings alone I now drink beer with them, thus, preventing coking and prolonging life."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar"

"What's the worst kind of media? chlamydia"

"You ever hear of Randy the Brown Nosed Reindeer? He was as quick as Rudolph but couldn't stop as fast."

"I still remember the last words my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. ""Hey! How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"My uncle was killed during the attacks on France.... He blew himself up."

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo bean? You wouldn't pay money to have a Garbanzo bean on your face!"

"You can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone crazy here! Of course, if you're swinging a dead cat you probably shouldn't be so judgy."

"What do you call a British voyeur? A bird-watcher."