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Joke of the Day

"When I wake up every morning, things always go well. I'm like the optimistic amputee who always starts his day off on the right foot."

"Difference between a Batsman and Batman? Batsman hits the ball. Out. Batman kicks the balls out."

"A zombie and a ghost go for marriage counselling And are asked to share their honest feelings The Zombie ""Sometimes I feel like you're not even here!"" The Ghost ""Whatever, you're dead to me"""

"""I beat you, fair and square"" - Me telling you what I did to you, where I did it, and what my favorite shape is"

"What is a better name for cows? Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!"

"*tries to play a skeletons ribs like a xylophone* SKELETON: you cant...it's not- this is a mischaracterization perpetuated by the media"

"2 peanuts walk into an elevator One was Ray Rice and the other was assaulted"

"Reddit, Facebook and Twitter should merge into one company called Bridge. To bring more awareness to Bridge Trolls"

"Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh"

"A knock-knock joke that will blow your mind! Knock,Knock... Who is there? ... Old Lady Lahey... ... Old Lady Lahey Who? ... Holy shit, I didn't know you could yodel!"