1582

Joke of the Day

"I'm 49 and my girlfriend is 5 months pregnant! What do you guys think we should do?"

"$10 COMPLAINT A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""

"What is the difference between a vacuum and a snowboarder? How you strap on the dirtbag."

"I'm planning on having a three-some with a chicken and an egg tonight I'll let you know."

"It's not that I enjoy hot, steamy showers. I just want the mirrors fogged up so I can't see my naked body."

"What do two rednecks getting divorced and a tornado have in common? Someone is going to lose a trailer."

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? The question is irrelevant, because as soon as the first angel steps onto the head, the tip will rub against the ground, making it pointless."

"Why can't accountants get library cards? They're book-keepers."

"* drinks 6 pack of muscle milk * * checks for abs *"

"Currently the most offensive joke going through my head. What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang raped by her fellow Marines? A Dishonourable Discharge."