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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I were shopping the other day, she said she needed a new pillow. I said ""That's a big decision, you should sleep on it."""

Next Joke
 
"What's the best insult you can say to someone? ""You are very disagreeable."""
"Got a text from my girlfriend, thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative.' I wonder what ternative' means?"
"If Steve Jobs can do that to the iPhone, think what he could do to Verne Troyer."
"I'm glad the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series. 108 years of hibernation just doesn't seem healthy."
"Looking for a friend with benefits. Preferably dental."
"A woman has breast implant made from an old oak tree. This made her breasts enormous. This joke would be funny if it had a punchline. Wooden tit?"
"Wanna hear a joke...? Youtube ToS."
"Did you hear about Joseph Stalin's personal yacht? They say it was a huge dictator-ship."
"Batman: Introducing, the Robinmobile. Robin: I'm so excited! *curtain opens* Robin: Bruce, that's a car bed... Batman: You're welcome."