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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I were shopping the other day, she said she needed a new pillow. I said ""That's a big decision, you should sleep on it."""

Next Joke
 
"When someone pushes the ""2"" button in an elevator it should automatically announce their weight."
"Whats the difference between a black person and a pizza. A pizza can feed a family of 4"
"what does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back **FOUR SECONDS**!"
"Why did my jizz cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning."
"Me [sneezes]: excuse me Guy at the bus stop: [starts crying] my ex used me too, man."
"What do you get if you take the red circle off a Japanese flag? The French flag."
"This club sucks & tell the DJ to lighten up on the Enigma. SON, YOU PASSED OUT. THIS IS A CATHEDRAL"
"Netflix is all, ""Do you want to watch a bunch of crappy documentaries? No?? Well how about if we charged you $9 a month to watch them??"""
"[Crime Scene] Detective: Looks like the killer used a wheelbarrow to dump the victim. [in the shed a wheelbarrow grins, his seventh kill]"