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Joke of the Day

"I keep hearing ""Just be yourself"" from everyone. I didn't realize so many people want me to go to prison :("

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the empire state building? Nope, but it sure can jump higher than the twin towers."

"Dear karma: perhaps we could be partners? You're doing great work, but I've identified a bunch of people you've overlooked."

"How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake? Give it to Michael J Fox"

"There's this sketchy joint downtown named ""The Disco"" ... ... I hear it causes a lot of panic!"

"Life is all about trying way too hard to look like you're not trying."

"Want to hear a clean joke? Henry took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man."

"What type of bonds deals with the bad guys? James"

"What's frozen water and dangerous? ISIS"

"I'm not racist People just disappoint me."