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Joke of the Day

"When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams."

"Things I Hate: slow internet connection and monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and half of friday."

"(Super Smash Bros. Joke) Why do waiters like a good Marth player? He tips well."

"How does a Korean walk a dog? With a little bit of oil."

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits."

"Best part of election night is seeing how fast states tabulate votes and judging the slow ones. What's up, Sloth Carolina?!"

"How did the burglar get into the house? Intruder window"

"Found out that girls do not like re-gifting. So, I was walking along and this girl gave me a major hard-on. However, when I tried to give it back to her, she just slapped me and ran away screaming."

"Why was the lonely instantiated object always asked to sit in the hallway at school? Because only friends were allowed to access the class."

"should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room"