146339

Joke of the Day

"Why was the lonely instantiated object always asked to sit in the hallway at school? Because only friends were allowed to access the class."

"Why did the Agnostic cross the road? We don't have enough evidence to say for sure."

"What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it? It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"Knock knock.. (feat. My 9yo brother) Knock knock.. \*sigh..\* Who's there? Interrupting doctor Interrupting doct-- You have cancer."

"Watching the end credits of a movie so you can take note of the producer & director and never ever watch anything else that they make "

"What's the difference between a Mormon man and a Muslim man. A Mormon man gets 72 virgins and THEN kills himself."

"F*&%. I keep forgetting the Titans"

"A blonde takes her dress into the dry cleaners... On the way out the lady at the counter says ""Come again!"" The blonder replies ""No, this time it's toothpaste you nosy bitch!"""

"What do you call a vaping vegan?1 Nothing! It isn't like you'll be able to get a word in!"

"No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation."