130902

Joke of the Day

"4 former presidents walk into a bar Clinton gets a new STD"

"When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this... Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? A: To get to the same side!"

"Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river. Turns out his boat was full of leeks."

"Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes they couldn't find a crane strong enough to lift her face!"

"If Apple Saudi Arabia made a Wrestling Game, it would be called... iSlam."

"COP: Know why I stopped you? MAN IN A RESTAURANT EATING FRIED CHICKEN: Huh? COP: You're using a knife and fork. Step away from the chicken"

"[i fall down the stairs & break my back] Me: Siri, call me 911 Siri: okay.. I will call you 911 from now on Me: haha nice Siri: thanks 911"

"Your Mom's so stupid... That when the teacher asked her to do an essay, she fucked a mexican."

"Q: Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school? A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!"

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."