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Joke of the Day

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."

"The Energizer bunny as been arrested! He was charged with battery. EDIT: ""H"" key on my damn keyborad."

"My friend just got a pool table for Christmas so he gave me a call inviting me around for a pool tournament with the boys. I said thanks for the invite but I prefer to pool by myself."

"LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium. It will be hilarious when you scream."

"What do you tell a cow blocking a road? Mooove"

"What do jedhi's and rape have in common? ... They both use the force"

"What's the best part about fucking twenty-two year old's? They are in their sexual prime."

"Chocolate fountains are so 20th century. This is the future. At my wedding we're having a burrito fountain."

"Why was Chuck Norris born by her aunt? Because no one dared to fuck his mother..."

"Why was the glass-blower forced to retire? He sucked..."