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Joke of the Day
"Why was the band late to their gig? Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys."
Next Joke
"A readhead tells her blonde step-sister ""I slept with 2 Brazilian guys last night!"" The blonde replies, ""Holy shit, you slut! How many is a Brazilian?"""
"Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant Me: Oh my god [later that day] Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That's for inventing milk"
"Justin Bieber is coming out with an 'Unplugged album'? I hope it's the microphone that they unplug."
"Hey yogurt, settle down with the commercials. You're YOGURT!"
"Werewolves are notoriously hard to find... Otherwise they'd be known as Therewolves."
"What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day? A wet one."
"Why did the smoothie get assassinated? He got mixed up with a few bad apples."
"Need a joke to tell my Public Speaking class this Monday.. Can be as crude as you want, but no racist or sexist jokes."
"I'm so broke that if my girlfriend leaves me for another guy I swear that I'm going with them."