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Joke of the Day

"I saw a man 3 foot 3 outside my house looking for my utilities readings Turns out he was the metre man"

"Where does an Afghan boy go during a drone strike? Everywhere."

"Scientists have created a mutant version of the deadly 1918 Spanish flu virus in an effort to better understand how pandemics start. I'm not a scientist, but this is how pandemics start."

"How come Barbie never got pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."

"What did the moderate muslim say to the radical muslim? Hello friend!"

"Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through his opening monologue without laughing"

"Why did the fox cross the road? Cause there was a billion fucking chickens on the other side."

"Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke."

"Why are there fences around cemeteries? people are dying to get in."

"What they dont tell you, is that your sheets are actually made of Egyptians and Cotton."