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Joke of the Day

"What they dont tell you, is that your sheets are actually made of Egyptians and Cotton."

"When Balls Disappear What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear? Answer: You Blink Your Eyes."

"Why was the ant so confused? All of if its uncles are aunts!"

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"

"Did the girl ever go to the whore Olympics? Nah, she couldn't be fucked."

"I took my cat to Build-A-Bear so he could see what's going to happen to him if he pees on the carpet again."

"Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, ""You gotta bring it today!"" SO I'M GONNA BRING IT! *brings lunch to work*"

"Can you guess how many turkeys we're gonna serve tomorrow? Turkey-two j.k. we don't celebrate thanksgiving here lol happy normal day to us"

"Did you know that the Queen of England is a casual gamer? From what I hear, she mostly plays Nintendo games. So, would you call this proper use of the royal Wii?"

"LPT: If you feel too cold, and can't afford central heating ...Just stand in a corner of your house. They are usually ~ 90"