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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through his opening monologue without laughing"

"How did Aladdin die? Carpet bombing."

"I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again."

"What do we say to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump running the world? Hair Hair!"

"1. Sit in stall of a crowded bathroom. 2. Whisper, ""Oh no, not again..."" 3. Slowly pour a large bucket of milk onto the floor."

"I hate it when my wife asks if I've been drinking and I accidentally respond with a 9-minute air guitar solo."

"My old math teacher used to dress pretty casually. So one day, when I walked into class they were all dressed up, suit, tie, etc. I strolled up to them and asked, ""What's the equation?"""

"A man rings work to tell them he's sick. ""How sick are you?"" ""How sick? Well, I'm fucking my sister for a start."""

"At A Bar A very large group of photons walked out of a bar. The bartender looked up, and saw nothing."

"What kind of dog is the most colorful? A paint Bernard!"