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Joke of the Day
"Love means never having to say you're sorry until you've thought up a good excuse."
Next Joke
"PSA: Brazilian officials have assured that they've taken measures to lower the chances of being murder there during the Olympic games to be... Juan/Brazilian."
"Facebook: Adele is such an inspiration. Instagram: Adele looking beautiful in her gown. Twitter: Adele sounds like a chimney sweeper."
"I just watched a movie following a black man in a zombie apocalypse. It was the shortest movie I've ever watched."
"a psychic midget escaped from jail Yes, we have a small medium at large"
"I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on."
"Pink Fluff... What's pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff What's Blue and Fluffy? Pink Fluff holding it's breath. (My niece told me this)"
"What meal was given out to the survivors of the Chernobyl accident? Fission chips."
"[high school reunion] ""Hey aren't u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?"" No that was Tyler."
"Why would a dentist make a good airport security guard? They both enjoy a good cavity search!"