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Joke of the Day

"What meal was given out to the survivors of the Chernobyl accident? Fission chips."

"My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat"

"Q. What did the salt say to the pepper? A. Hey Baby what's SHAKING!"

"My butcher's assistant is a little person. I tried to bet him he couldn't sell me one of his top-shelf filets. ""No bet,"" he said. ""The steaks are too high."""

"why didn't Hitler pass algebra? He didn't know the final solution."

"What do you say to a Jedi who stole your sicilian dessert? ""You owe me one cannoli."""

"My Wife's nickname for me is ""Microsoft"" because I'm good with computers. RIGHT HONEY? Hold on guys, she's not done laughing."

"Misunderstood gift! My lesbian neighbours gave me a rolex for my birthday. Really sweet of them, but i think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""""

"A girl said she met me at the vegetarian meetup... I don't think I've met herbivore."

"Dont hit me! Thats whats she said. Bazzinga"