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Joke of the Day

"Facebook: Adele is such an inspiration. Instagram: Adele looking beautiful in her gown. Twitter: Adele sounds like a chimney sweeper."

"what do you call an asian supply warehouse party? A surprise party!"

"did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening? he dropped the beet"

"A man walks in to a bar... He said ouch"

"What do a tornado and a divorce in the South have in common? Someone is losing their trailer.."

"My New Years resolution is 1080p."

"A car says a lot about the owner. I have a KIA which tells people I have bad credit."

"The wife asks her husband -What do you prefer, honey? A smart woman or a beautiful woman? -Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you"

"What's black, white, and red all over? White emo kids."

"ME: Ok, that's everything in the dishwasher *closes dishwasher door* *turns it on* *turns around* TEASPOON: You're not gonna believe this"