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Joke of the Day

"Have I been shadow banned? Nevermind, turns out my comments just suck."

"I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says ""why the long face?"" The horse says ""that's offensive asshole!"" -The one and only OG Nipple"

"I was just wondering, if you're not too busy sometime, maybe I could pet your dog"

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged"

"What did the police officer say to stop the depressed man from jumping off the bridge? You have potential. Sorry if this is a repost, just thought of it now."

"At first, I hated my new haircut but it's grown on me."

"I think Oranges were named before Carrots ""What are these?"" ""They're orange....oranges"" ""What about these"" ""Shit....long pointys???"" Demitri Martin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYVrp_GsinE"

"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."

"What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired? Pants."