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Joke of the Day

"What does a fashionable dog do when it gets tired? Pants."

"Why do fire departments have dalmatians? To help the firemen find the hydrants"

"""How do you know that God isn't a woman?"" Because I'm not a sandwich."

"[NSFW] MY wife walked in on me fucking my daughter... I wasn't sure if she was surprised by the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic gave me the fetus..."

"I'm so horrified right now. I'm on the treadmill reading about the bombings in Syria. And my T-shirt's on backwards!"

"I have decided to run a marathon and have taken up vaping instead of smoking You could say I am running on fumes."

"I bring giant stuffed animals into carnivals so when I walk around people will think that I am good at something."

"What did the Muslim Zoophiliac say when he found out his friend was a beekeeper? ""Dicks out for Haram Bee"""

"I hate all those hooker jokes. I know there are a lot of them out there, but they all suck!"

"Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? You didn't hear? It made headlines!"