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Joke of the Day

"Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says ""why the long face?"" The horse says ""that's offensive asshole!"" -The one and only OG Nipple"

"(i crack an egg; it falls under the pan) i prefer a firm yolk (i accidentally drop my phone in the toilet) phones make us communicate less"

"Why did Hitler lose WWII? He did NAZI it coming"

"Dark comedy is... Like water.......not everyone gets it."

"I might go to the airport and hold up a sign that says ""BABES"" and hope I get lucky."

"Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity."

"Sometimes I accidentally make eye contact with someone and it's like ""well I better just go with it"" and I begin sprinting at them"

"Classic nursery rhyme Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter. Jill came down with fifty cents, you think they went for water?"

"Your Momma so fat when I download porn of her on the Internet I exceed my monthly data cap"

"My kid started doing this annoying preteen whiny voice and now I can turn my head all the way around like the exorcist."