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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them"
Next Joke
"If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears."
"[flirting at Taco Bell] Trouble opening that sauce packet? Let me help. [seconds later] Let me help you get that sauce out of your hair."
"TIFU by sleeping with my Crush Now there's orange soda all over my bed. :("
"Why does Indiana Jones hate the letters ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWX and Y Because they're not Zs. Sorry."
"If you are brave, clever and skillful, go home. You're drunk!"
"If she farts in front of your parents repeatedly just for the reaction then she's a keeper."
"Two men are making love in a meadow, they both are struck by lightning and die. Which one goes to heaven first? The one on the bottom because he already has his shit packed and ready to go."
"no thanks La-Z-Boy. I like my furniture gender neutral"
"What do you call a relative of a nap? A napkin."