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Joke of the Day

"Why did the skeleton leave the party? Because everyone was calling him a bone-head. (I was 6 when I came up with that)."

"How do we know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? If it had been invented anywhere else it'd be called a teethbrush."

"wife [text] I'm so proud of you for sticking to your diet me [can't respond because there's powdered donut on my fingers]"

"I don't always go golfing, but when I do I bring two pairs of pants... ....in case I get a hole in one"

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"What did the male titanic say to the female titanic? Nothing he just broke the ice."

"What do deer and women have in common? The hornier, the better!"

"What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic? Plenty of coat hangers."

"How do you bury a pothead? Coughin'"

"Why was hitler bad with directions? Because three reichs don't make a left."