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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic? Plenty of coat hangers."

"My friend told me he broke my lamp He said I hope you're not mad. No, im delighted"

"I'm only friends with people who are taller than me, just in case of thunderstorms."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quick sand Quatro'sinco'ses"

"What type of tea is hard to swallow? Reality"

"What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard? Nothing, he's Snowden."

"Aliens watching our media must assume we are being implored to show allegiance to our ruler, a mysterious entity named ""Geico."""

"My towel is now in two pieces, rip. Rip, your parents' condom XD"

"How many suh dudes does it take to change a light bulb? None, its already lit fam!"

"The worst things in life are free, too."