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Joke of the Day

"It has been proven that girls with profile picture of them selves in the mirror are more likely to send nudes."

"I have a sweet parking spot at Target. I'm just going to sit here for the next 10 minutes with my reverse lights on, pissing people off."

"Honey Boo Boo changes name to Sugar Scab."

"Donald Trump had a great inauguration speech It sounds like he Putin a lot of practice"

"What's a prison executioners favorite beer? Shock-top"

"During your interview, try ending every sentence with ""dot jpg"". ""How would you say you handle job pressure?"" --Not a problem.jpg"

"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."

"What do you get if a convict goes camping? Criminal Intent."

"Did you hear about the one about the heart and stomach? Nevermind, it's an inside joke."

"Sex is like Kebab. When it's good, it's really good... ...and when I'm drunk I'm willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet."