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Joke of the Day

"Sex is like Kebab. When it's good, it's really good... ...and when I'm drunk I'm willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet."

"What do Italians eat on Halloween? fettucine afraid-o"

"Politician (noun): Someone who will lay down your life for his country."

"My 'Sleep Number' is Grey Goose."

"Sure he's handsome, funny, smart, charming and successful, but can he fit 54 M&M's in his mouth at once? I didn' fink fo"

"My goal in life is always turn the negative into the positive... which is why I lost my job at the HIV clinic"

"What's an emo's favorite ice cream flavor? Noose Tracks"

"Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes."

"Your mom is temporarily in read-only mode due to heavy traffic. The joke is Reddit's servers. Get it together!"

"The Koala should be classified as a bear It has all the Koalafications"