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Joke of the Day

"Sex is like Kebab. When it's good, it's really good... ...and when I'm drunk I'm willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet."

"How do you know someone is from California? They tell you."

"Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments..."

"Why did the emo kid leave the bar? It was happy hour."

"Yo momma so nasty... that flesh eating bacteria won't even eat her pussy."

"What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks I'll just have a sliver !"

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."

"How do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there."

"What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common? They both hang out at the Space Bar."

"I'll accept the consequences but in my defense, it was a double dare.. Judge: well in that case, I triple dog dare you 60 days in jail."