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Joke of the Day

"Can someone finish this joke? My friend wrote this much before he committed suicide:""Three prostitute nuns walk into a bar..."""

"I think I pulled a muscle avoiding my neighbor in the grocery store."

"What's the speed limit for sex? Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around."

"One of the main goals for Republicans is to close our Borders. Well, mission accomplished. I hear they're going after Books-A-Million next."

"So two guys walk into a bar... and the third one ducks."

"[My Wedding] Me: I do Guests: Awww Me: Or do I? Guests: Ooooo"

"Countdown is Dracula's retarded brother."

"I hope Rand Paul doesn't pick Scott Walker as his VP I have a feeling Paul/Walker would crash and burn. Edit: thanks for the gold! It's my first!"

"My neighbor is loud and obnoxious Now I know how Canada feels"

"What is the difference between a horse and a cabbage? I have never been hungry enough that I could eat a cabbage."