209681

Joke of the Day

"When the mechanic said I 'blew a seal', I was afraid he knew about that summer I worked at Sea World but it turns out it's some car thing."

"Chimps Broke Out of Ferguson Zoo Apparently they're starting fires across town."

"My favourite 6,835"

"Someone called me stupid and then blocked me before I even had a chance to agree with them."

"I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me."

"Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's live in a homeless man's beard."

"*scientist finishes bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and begins drinking the milk* ""Wait just one damn minute"" - How horchata was born"

"Archaeologists excavating a pyramid in Egypt has found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts they believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher"

"Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color"

"The next version of Android oughta be called Nuts. That way I can tell everyone that they're holding an Android with its nuts in their hand."