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Joke of the Day

"Men don't ignore us; they have selective hearing. Give them instructions for roasted turkey & they'll remember ""breast, thighs, moist & hot"""

"11 was a race horse 11 was 12 11 1 1 race 12 1 1 2"

"Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts."

"I was gonna tell you about anal But fuck it"

"Someone told me it was important to have relationships with positive people. Now I have AIDS"

"What do you call a an Egyptian crocodile who swears they live in Florida? In da-Nile"

"[Jesus at the bar] ""Oh, I'll just have a water"" *winks at camera*"

"A robot had an accident and sustained a head injury. He was a bit upset."

"Why do Dale Earnhardt Sr fans hate Trump? Because Trump wants to build a wall... and a wall killed Dale Earnhardt."

"I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake."