129707

Joke of the Day

"My best friend died in a freak boiling water accident. He will be mist."

"What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him? Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue"

"So archaeologists found another Dead Sea Scroll... They opened it up, and read: GENESIS 1:0 ""Before the beginning, there was Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris said, 'Let there be God.'"""

"Jeopardy Contestant: Saturday night for $400 Alex: This when the song Tennessee Whiskey is playing in the background Contestant: What is Jacking Daniels?"

"Instead of the standard 140, people should only be allowed as many characters as they have IQ points."

"The doctor said I had a bad case of kyphosis. ""Are you sure?"" I said. He replied, ""Honestly, it's just a hunch."" Edit: [Jokes are funnier when explained](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyphosis)."

"What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane? The Pilot, you racist."

"I'm currently trying to remove all Cancers. Then I'll move on to Virgos."

"Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit."

"A farmer was in a field with his cows, he counted 196 of them.... ..... but when he rounded them up he had 200."