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Joke of the Day

"So archaeologists found another Dead Sea Scroll... They opened it up, and read: GENESIS 1:0 ""Before the beginning, there was Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris said, 'Let there be God.'"""

"[gets pulled over] cop: ""sir, do you know how fast you were going?"" [i've swapped places with the dog] me: ""answer the man"""

"This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?"

"So hard to hurt a vampire's feelings because you can't say ""how do you sleep at night?"" or ""how do you look at yourself in the mirror?"""

"Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption ""me"""

"What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie? ""Well doggone !"""

"Study shows 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. Not me, though. I live next door to 2 really hot middle school girls."

"I became friends with a Lovecraftian alien.... It was a Mi-Go."

"What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly."

"I always tell my kids to stay in school... but they keep fucking coming back."