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Joke of the Day

"Hey Jude. I ran out of advice, so I'm just going to go nah nah nah nah for the next nine minutes."

"50 cent filed for bankruptcy... That makes no cents."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones sing ""Hey You! Get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman shouts ""Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"""

"I walked into the library the other day and asked the librarian if he still had that mouldy old book on giving your child up for adoption. ""It was vile so I got rid of it."" ""That's the one."""

"I hate dolphins... ...for all intents and porpoises."

"The thing about.... What's the hardest thing about being a being a pedophile nowadays? Too many damn sexy 9 year olds."

"should I get a ""hummus"" tattoo in Hebrew and Arabic?"

"Money's missing from under my pillow, I think I've been visited by the teef fairy."

"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."

"Why was the dolphin keeper depressed? Because he had no porpoise."