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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are in the oven... One of them says ""it's getting hot in here."" The other muffin says ""Holy shit, a talking muffin!"""

"How does a dog catcher gets paid? by the pound."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball? 2^nd base."

"When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread all over my bedroom...so my wife can clean up after me one more time."

"I got free admission for life at SeaWorld For being an Orca Whale."

"Beer makes you stupid.... Budweiser too."

"Teachers in school told me I wouldn't amount to anything, now i'm laughing all the way to the bank... To dispute my most recent overdraft fee"

"Confucius Say Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"

"I hate computer speak My brain just cant PROCESS it."

"- What do you think about the coming battle General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it? - To find out who is the loser."