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Joke of the Day

"Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom? ""They'll never see you coming."""

"[at stadium with child] Me: That is batball. [at the races] Me: That is horse circles. [at the opera] Me: This is horned yodeling."

"Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil."

"How to make your dreams come true? Have a Stage 4 Cancer"

"Judge:""Since we can't prove who's baby it is we will ... cut the baby in half Worm Mom 1:""Sure Worm Mom 2 :""Ya do it."

"The best pick-up line for college students Hey baby, I'm only a few thousand dollars in debt!"

"How do you know you have a high sperm count? Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows."

"Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green."

"*In the ER* ""We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"" ""How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"" ""Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!"""

"Why did Ms. Frizzle get fired from teaching Sex Ed? She told the class to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy."