8461

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken looking at lettuce? Chicken caesar salad"

"Here you go, Merry Christmas! ""Dad, why'd you wrap our gifts in soft fabric?"" Because I wanted to make- Mom: NO DON'T My presents felt"

"My favorite tree died earlier. Now I have mourning wood."

"What was Rob Bartlett's go-to line in his WackyPaki comedian routine? Take my wife, if you would be so kind."

"A man asks his wife on a Friday evening... Husband: Shall we have a nice weekend? Wife: Sure, why not? Husband: Ok then, see you on Monday!"

"""Stop anthropomorphising me, bitch""- my cat, while i'm writing this."

"Two chemists walk into a bar... The first one said ""I want some H2O please"".The other chemist said ""I'd like some H2O too"".Then he died."

"""Honey, does this milk seem spoiled?"" *milk locks itself in its room til it gets an iPhone 6* ""Oh its just going thru a phase"""

"Only Pools And Corpses A new sitcom starring Michael Barrymore and Demi Moore."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says, ""Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!"