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Joke of the Day

"What is the name of your friend's advisor? Budweiser"

"Q: What do you call a pickle that draws? A: A dillustrator."

"You know that one cow in the field that's like 200 yards away from all his cow friends just doing his own thing? That's me. I am that cow."

"I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game. He's my Czech mate"

"How is snow white? -Pretty good according to the 7 dwarfs"

"I'm holding a latte and a scone while I break into this Audi so people think it's mine and I've locked my keys in it."

"If my girlfriend is late for work & looking for keys, I help by following her around the house & looking in exactly the same spots she does."

"I dream to live in a world where I can politely get out of plans by saying, ""I'm so sorry, but I just remembered I don't want to"""

"The age old question... The age old question, if I paint my car black will it stop working or will it run faster?"

"Why do girls generally go to the bathroom in groups? 'Cause they're a bunch of pussies."