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Joke of the Day

"Pizza Hut: May I take your order? Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian? Pizza Hut: Yes, but don't ever call me vegetarian again."

"What's the only thing politicians stand for? Reelection."

"Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle."

"What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist? A carb-o-rater"

"why did Hitler eat a lot of fish sticks? because he thought they were not seafood"

"Coworker said 'nice pink shirt, when did you come out?' I said 'IT'S NOT PINK IT'S SALMON!'. Then I snapped my fingers and skipped away."

"Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: ...*clenches fists Mom: ...don't! Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: Dad: HI GAY, IM DAD Kudos to @Lerky on Twitter"

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? A cease and desist."

"My wife is playing hard to get. Rid of."