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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a hurtful play on words? A Punjab."

"They've been together for 28 years! DEEZ NUTS"

"My boss yelled at me yesterday ""It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!"" I said, ""Probably that it's Friday?""..."

"It's only TMI if you're ugly."

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was into beastiality you Islamophobe... He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday."

"What do you get when you cross an Elephant with a Rhino? HellifIknow!"

"I tried to think of an electricity pun Now my head hertz"

"Who is Thor? A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: http://amzn.com/B00BERRBI2)"

"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."

"Comedy Club I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back. Now I work in Corporate America."