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Joke of the Day

"[Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant"

"It's so annoying when I'm about to take a great photo and somebody calls my camera."

"Jokes About Canada I've been trying to think of jokes about Canada. I could rib on universal health care, maple syrup, or ""sorry"". But no matter what I think of, it always ends up feeling sort of eh."

"A man goes to the zoo, and the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog... it was a shitzu"

"When is your door annoying? When it'sa Jar-Jar."

"ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep."

"How do you confuse a straight person? Tell them they're straight."

"It's like my Mom used to say, always keep a positive pregnancy test around in case you need to ruin a man's life."

"What do you call a Mexican wrestler that only fights during his 12:00 break? A lunchador."

"What has four legs and goes ""Oom! Oom!""? A cow walking backwards!"