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Joke of the Day

"Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy... Lives in the White House."

"My wife bought me a second hand watch for my birthday... Anyway, better be going. The football starts in... 1200 seconds."

"Definition of anxiety: half of the time you're worried about the other half of the time."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees? Because the p is silent."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"Every time I fold laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist. Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding...."

"What happened to the frog who parked illegally? he got toad"

"No Auto-correct, I never meant ""Relationship Goats""."

"When are we going to change ""til death do us part"" to ""for the next five years"" ?"

"Bras come in sizes A, B, C, etc. So what's the biggest bra? The Zebra."