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Joke of the Day
"When are we going to change ""til death do us part"" to ""for the next five years"" ?"
Next Joke
"*loads dryer* Fitted Sheet: HE'S BURNING US ALIVE! COME, SHIRT! COME, PANTS! HOP IN MY BOSOM AND I WILL FORM A PROTECTIVE BALL OF MOISTURE!"
"I want to wear glasses just so I can take them off and rub my eyes with my palms in exasperation when someone says something stupid."
"A lot of people end a question with a period. Usually that question is ""Am I pregnant?"""
"[end of a job interview] Interviewer: Any questions? Me: If you could become half robot, would you do it? Him: Me: Him: Which half?"
"A guy was admitted to my local hospital yesterday where they found 6 plastic horses stuck in his ass. The Doctor came out and described his status as Stable........"
"I laughed at my friend for being unable to juggle... Turns he just didn't have the balls to do it."
"Dad Rabbit: Who is this Daughter Rabbit: My BF Emo BF Rabbit: gotta go babe, My band Bad Hare Cut has practice *flips ears away from eyes"
"Why aren't marriage prevention hotlines a thing?"
"You may say the glass is half full or half empty. I say fill the rest of my damn cup!"