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Joke of the Day

"What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common? At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican."

"How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts? Strawberry filled forever."

"Mom I get nervous on dates & always sweat. ""Wear something that doesn't show stains"" [5 hours later] How was your date? She hated my poncho."

"I dunno if a gun would be my murder weapon of choice but it's worth a shot."

"what is a female journalist returning from India famous for ? Banged up abroad!"

"[first date] ""So... you didn't mention that you're trapped in 230 million year old amber."" [my motionless eyes glint within my golden shell]"

"What do you call an snobbish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife."

"What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm."

"What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together? Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*"