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Joke of the Day

"Waiter: Can I get you something to drink? Me: just cheese dip Waiter: .... Me: With a straw please"

"Un Deux Trois A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; ""Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"""

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far-out."

"A family of freudians have a problem... It was complex to say the least."

"I bought some green apples about a week ago I can't believe they're still not ripe"

"I'm not usually too good at jokes but um... Tiss"

"What do is the difference between acne and a pedophile? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're twelve"

"What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him"

"A Nurse talks to her young Patient Kid: Thanks for helping me get through these tough times, will you come and see me when I get out? Nurse: I'd love to, but I am scared of visiting graveyards"

"My cousin told everyone he could do a backflip. We all gathered around him. He said, ""I can't do it if you're watching."" #MyFamilyIsWeird"