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Joke of the Day

"sometimes to end a text convo thats going on too long u gotta break out the big guns and say you're going to bed. at 2:30 in the afternoon."

"what did the transvestite say to the pirate? Q. what did the transvestite say to the pirate? A. ""I'M going to plunder your butt hole!"""

"The most Canadian thing I ever heard was a secondhand story about a guy getting his toe bit off by a beaver but not telling his date."

"Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But roses are wilting, violets are dead, sugar bowl's empty and so is your head."

"What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones? Phil, eh?"

"My brother just updated his status to ""I love my girlfriend <3"". I always knew he liked them young, but that is f*cking ridiculous."

"When will Cameron stop fucking with the system? when pigs fly"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne waits until you're thirteen before it comes in your face"

"Did you hear about the bread-less klansman who couldn't drink milk? He lacked toast and tolerance."

"A dyslexic bank robber... Runs into a bank with a gun and screams out waving his gun around. ""Every mother sticker put your hands up with is a fuck up!"""