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Joke of the Day

"My brother just updated his status to ""I love my girlfriend <3"". I always knew he liked them young, but that is f*cking ridiculous."

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? He was the skipper!"

"How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose? Ten pigs, two calves, one beaver, and an ass."

"What do you call an elf made of lego? Legolass"

"A saber-tooth tiger arrives at a cave party Where it's friends had been partying with a bunch of cave-people. ""I see I'm too late,"" says the tiger. ""Yup,"" says another. ""Everyone's eaten"""

"What do you call a Jewish wookie? Jewie get it? Chewie? from star wars?"

"What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe? A melon collie."

"Her: You know I love it when you pull my hair... Me: Yes, baby Her: But the other people at this PTA meeting are beginning to stare."

"How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15."

"A feminist, a vegan, and a person who does CrossFit walk into a bar. I know this because they didn't shut up about it the entire night."