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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne waits until you're thirteen before it comes in your face"

"I got a $100 bill tattooed on my penis.... My girlfriend asked why I did it, and I told her 'well you're always asking for money to blow...'"

"How about a game where Mario gets a job and gets his coins like the rest of us."

"Seriously, soup? If I wanted to drink my lunch I would go to a bar."

"How do you catch a red elephant? With a red elephant trap."

"Q: What do you call a frog with seven legs? A: A seven-legged frog."

"She said I'm 'barely tolerable,' which means there's still a chance"

"Q: Where do fleas go to surf? A: To the microwave."

"What's the difference between a radical feminist and a suicide bomber? One's being triggered and one's pulling the trigger."

"*posts selfie with full makeup and 3 filters* Caption: I'm so sick, I feel like dog crap & I look sooooo gross"