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Joke of the Day

"My third bottle of wine was able to ""breathe"" for a few hours when I opened it at 3am and passed out on the floor."

"What kind of porn does Smurfette make? Blue Cocky."

"Want to hear a joke? Adam Sandler's career"

"When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

"Teen for rent: Knows everything, does nothing."

"Did you hear about the emo pizza? He topped himself."

"How did the scottsman find the sheep in the tall grass? Very pleasurable."

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"The harder you slam the door walking out on an argument ...the more likely you have to go back inside for your car keys."

"Why did the chicken attend the seance? To get to the other side."