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Joke of the Day

"Dec 21st falls on a Friday... What a sh*tty way to start the weekend.."

"Why are the cops in Ferguson Steelers fans? Bullet train!"

"A short joke my GF told me My penis"

"What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one? The type of gas used."

"I was on a date with a girl and she said ""did you notice my finger nails?"" And I was like ""yes"" and she was like ""well I have no arms"""

"Why did the baker have stinky hands? He kneaded a poo"

"If you're ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north."

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar"

"Why can't a hermit be a vegan, go to a CrossFit gym, or not eat gluten? Because he can't tell anyone about it."

"DOG 911: What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it? DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME??"